I’ve often considered beginning a blog, so why not on New Year’s Day?
My thoughts, opinions, concerns, have been so jumbled lately that I cannot keep them in my head to stew much longer. Hopefully this outlet will help me sort through how I feel about 2015.
New Years Eve for many people is a time to reflect on the previous year. Where you’ve gone, what you’ve accomplished, how you’ve grown. I am usually focused on what I know I can anticipate within the next 365 days. Last night I knew I would either drink or cry – ultimately I did a little bit of both (one hidden in a bathroom – the crying not the drinking…I’m not that sad). It’s going to be a difficult year, there’s no doubt about that. Change is always difficult. It can be good, great even, but still difficult.
So I guess I’ll start with what I know about 2015.
1. Match Day
March 20. It scares me, excites me, and upsets me simultaneously. I’ve told Josh from day 1, including the day he proposed, that I would follow him wherever he goes – wherever life takes him. Up until this point that has not been very difficult. We went to Oxford together. We came back to Jackson together. We searched for apartments and town homes together, found church homes together. No matter what as long as we have been together I’ve felt safe and never alone. I know that this will continue no matter what. As long as I have my husband (and my cats. and my bed.) I can create a home. I’ve done it before and I can do it again. The difference this time is that this is the first place that Josh and I have established a life as independent adults. We’ve chosen our friends (carefully). We’ve grown unbelievably close to them, their families, their kids. Nothing can ever stand in the way of those relationships…except maybe distance. Distance has a way of wedging itself into even the strongest friendships. I know. I’ve experienced it many times. And admittedly I’m not the best at communication to begin with even if you’re in the room with me, let alone hundreds of miles away.
Times have changed, though, and make staying in touch easier (texting, Skype, Facebook). I had none of those things when I left my first home and moved to Mississippi. Despite how much I still love the friends I grew up with, those relationships dwindled quickly. When I moved back to Jackson I did not do a great job of keeping up with college friends, for a multitude of reasons. Josh has always made me feel better about this. I will treasure forever relationships I’ve made in my life, but sometimes people are intentionally in your life for a season. And it’s a sweet, sweet time. And you make memories and are left with impressions that will always stay with you. I love that. And hey, thanks to Facebook, I can still keep up with their lives from a distance beyond a Christmas card once a year. But ultimately from my experience the friendships that really mean the most are the ones right now, walking through life next to you, experiencing things with you first hand. That gets lost through a computer screen or over a phone.
And that’s what scares me.
I’m not scared of moving to a new place (been there. done that.). That part can be fun and exciting. This time it will be filled with even more excitement as we look to buy our first house in this mysterious place. Searching for a church home is a sweet time for Josh and me. I love walking through that with him. New restaurants? Yes, please.
So many babies. Exciting! First kid, third kid, second kid. I never thought I would be so attached to friends’ kids. My kids, obviously. My sister’s kids, duh. My friends kids? I guess it never crossed my mind. But I love these babies so much! I love being a part of their lives – and watching them learn to crawl, walk, talk, and learn my name. I think that’s a huge reason that some of our friendships are even sweeter now. I don’t think Im ready to integrate this part with the Match Day part yet. Another time.
3. Hubs will have a job
I never thought of myself being the “working one.” Ya I’ll work. Ya I have a good job. But the only one working? I don’t like it. Nope. No I don’t. I’m unbelievablely proud of Josh for finishing med school this year – and extra excited to not be soley responsible for being able to pay our bills :D.
4. End of the Bo Era
Hallelujah. Maybe. Our QB situation may be even worse. Possible? Probably. Hopefully he will at least be consistently good or bad. Or mediocre. And not a psychopath (looking at you Chad Kelly).
5. It will be a great year
No matter what I’m confident that God will direct our steps, whether it’s down the road into a new house or miles away to a new city.